I keep putting this post off. It has a lot of emotions and it's hard to live through them again. And also I feel like anything I post won't be adequate and I won't be able to express my emotions and thoughts adequately. So I've opened this post several times and then I close it. But here it goes.
My grandparents passed away. Together. Within fifty-two minutes of each other. It's beautiful, sad, tender, miraculous, sweet. Grandma went first. Then grandpa.
July 31st my mom told me that grandma wasn't doing well. She had broken her arm and her health was quickly declining. Both grandma and grandpa had been living in assisted living for about a year and a half. Grandpa had cancer and was receiving treatment. Grandma had dementia and would remember things sometimes. When grandma started to decline, grandpa did too. He had a terrible case of shingles. It was so bad they had to stop cancer treatments.
My parents went and stayed with them during the day on August 1 and 2. My two aunts (Grandma and grandpa's daughters) were there also. Then on August 3, 2018 my sweet Grandma Leah passed away at 3:53 p.m. My mom says it was peaceful. She told me that after grandma passed my aunt told grandpa she was gone and that he could go too. A tear slipped out from his eye. Grandpa LaMar passed away at 4:45 p.m. Reunited with his sweetheart.
Grandpa was 89 years old and Grandma was 86 years old.
On the funeral program the title is "Their's was a True Love Story!" So very true. I always remember them together. They truly went side by side together as equal partners.
My mom took a few pictures of them. Here's grandpa sleeping.
On August 3, they moved their beds by each other so they could be closer together. And then they passed away.
I am so grateful I was able to go home for the funerals and be with family. Nels was amazing and kind. He helped me find plane tickets and took time off work to take care of the four kids. It was a stressful time for him. His boss moved up the timeline and wanted next year's budget due a lot sooner than he had originally thought. I was gone for three days. (Two of them were mostly travel! It takes a long time to get out west!) On the first day Nels was by himself. Nels squeezed work in and still took the time to take the kids to Wendy's and try to have a good time with them. Nels's parents arrived on the second day. We had planned months before for their visit. It just happened during this time. They were kind and immediately stepped in to help. Nels was able to go to work on the third day and his parents watched the kids. I got home the evening of the third day. Then we enjoyed Nels's parents visit. (Another blog post about our adventures with them will come soon.)
So began my journey home on August 8. I left for the airport at 4:15 a.m. I arrived in Salt Lake City at 10 a.m. My sweet sister Jenny picked me up and we headed to Idaho. I loved catching up with Jenny and all of her adventures. She is just awesome. Mom texted me around noon and wrote that Melissa, Mandi and Kari were near us on our route. So I talked to each one. Except for Kari, we all met up at Cafe Rio in Pocatello for lunch. What a sweet "coincidental" lunch that was! Then we finished up our drive.
Here's Jenny practicing the piano for her solo in the funeral program.
My mom and dad worked all winter painting their entire house. They got new carpet and new furniture too. It looks beautiful!!
Then we we went to the viewing from 5-8 p.m. at Flamm Mortuary. I saw and talked with lots of family. Cousins that I hadn't seen for years were there. It was neat to catch up with them. Lots of people came to pay their respects. Mom's family and people from the church. It was closed casket. But for the first hour the caskets were open for family. I looked at sweet, petite grandma (she weighed 71 lbs when she passed away) in her pink rose casket dressed in white. Grandpa in his pine colored casket with a little smile...at peace.
I watched my dad and his two sisters and one brother shake hands with people and hug them and receive condolences for three hours. And another hour on the day of the funeral they stood in a line listening and talking with people. It was tender to me to watch how they handled the passing of their parents. I saw my dad greet people with a smile and so much love. It was tiring but he just kept going. My dad's brother, Uncle Rol is ill and he sure was a trooper. They are strong people.
August 9 - Thursday - I went to the Wilford church with my parents to help set up. I didn't do much to help. The one thing I did was found a tall chalkboard and put the beautiful photo quilt on it.
The girl cousins - Hannah, Stacy, my four sisters and I were asked to be the pallbearers for my grandma. We each wore a pink flower pinned to our dresses.
Here's their caskets at the church before the funeral program. In this room we had the family prayer.
Grandma's is on the left in pink. Grandpa's is on the right.
Grandpa's flowers.
Grandma's flowers.
Before the family prayer. That's my dad on the far left.
After the prayer, I followed my sisters and family into the chapel. The chapel was filled and the people were standing as we walked to the front of the chapel. We sat on the first four rows of benches and then the congregation sat down.
It was a sweet program. Mandi played the piano for our cousin Antonio and his wife to sing a song. Jenny did a musical number. Aunt Tawna and Aunt Kathy stood together at the pulpit and told their parents life sketch.
I know this is a lot...but I wanted to include the life sketch here so I would have a place for it. It also includes a little memory from each of the grandchildren.
Life Sketch for LaMar (Oodie) Alden Swensen and Leah Rae House Swensen
LaMar and Leah Swensen passed away due to natural causes on August 3, 2018. 52 minutes apart, surrounded by their family. LaMar was 89 and Leah was 86.
LaMar was born on July 4, 1929, in St. Anthony, ID to Lawrence Swensen and Clara Fisher Swensen. He graduated from South Fremont High School where he lettered in boxing and enjoyed being in the Glee Club. LaMar took over the family farm at the age of 14 upon the death of his father. Along with farming and ranching, he supplemented the family income working as a skilled brick mason. His work ethic was second to none and is one of the greatest lessons he passed on to his family. LaMar was an Elder in the LDS church and was a very faithful Home Teacher. He enjoyed playing cards, traveling, camping, fishing, gardening, serving others, and his association with friends at the coffee shop. Dad loved to tease and was known for his awesome sense of humor.
Leah was born on March 16, 1932, in Ashton, ID. The daughter of Walter House and Boneta Allen House. Leah attended elementary school in a one-room school east of Ashton. She graduated from North Fremont High School where she played basketball and was on the paper staff. She was a fabulous homemaker and took pride in keeping a meticulously clean home and caring for and nurturing her family. She also worked at Fremont General Hospital. Leah worked side by side with her husband on the farm and was a true partner. She was a member of the LDS church and served as a Primary Secretary, Visiting Teaching Supervisor, and faithful Visiting Teacher. Leah enjoyed playing cards and was in a card club for many years. She also enjoyed embroidery, traveling, camping, having a girls day out with her daughters, and spending time with her friends.
The first-time mom and Dad met was at a convenience store. Mom was with some of her girlfriends. Mom said they were properly introduced by the lady who ran the store in St. Anthony. There are a couple of different recollections of what happened next, but I guess the girls needed a ride home so Dad offered to take them back to Ashton.
Mom said when she first met Dad that she thought he was ONE CUTE GUY. Dad had this to say, “I thought she was a cute little thing. She had long pretty hair”. SO THE CHEMISTRY WAS THERE RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING.
While they were dating they went to movies, rodeos, a few dances, played a lot of pinochle with Grandpa and Grandma House and at the Vancycles. They would also go to the farm. They also made several trips to Mack’s Inn to take Aunt Verona up to see Grandma Swensen who was working there. Dad told us that they could both go to a movie, have a hamburger and drink all for, $5.00. ONE OF THE INTERESTING THINGS they did while dating was Dad taught Mom how to drive a car!
Dad inherited 40 acres from his Grandpa Swensen. Dad took Mom out to show her the property when it was dark. Mom used to say he took her out there at night so she couldn’t see all the rocks. (We all know Dad was famous for talking us into picking rocks!)
Dad gave Mom an engagement ring for Christmas.To finish paying for it, Dad had to sell a cow! Mom’s parents gave her a $25 savings bond, which she used to buy herself a new dress and some shoes for the wedding. Dad wore the suit that he got when he graduated from high school.
They were married February 11, 1950 (68 years ago). Those attending the wedding were Mom’s parents, Dad’s Mother and Sister Verona. They went ALL THE WAY to Pocatello and stayed in a Motel for their Honeymoon. I HOPE IT HAD INDOOR PLUMBING! The next day they saw a John Wayne movie and visited with several Aunt’s and Uncle’s. REMEMBER this was 1950 and THEIR HONEYMOON!
Their first apartment, they called the CABIN, this was the first time Mom had ever lived anywhere that had indoor plumbing, the rent was $15.00 a month.
Dad was working in the potatoes and then did night lambing. He was paid $7 a day doing night lambing. They moved around several times during their first few years of marriage. When Dale came along they were living in an apartment that they nicknamed THE HOLE (enough said). Their next place they called the Castle it was $35 a month. They nicknamed it that because it was a Castle compared to The Hole). Roland was born two years after Dale. They finally settled in the “Pink House” where Dad grew up, staying 12 years. They were living there when Tawna and Kathy joined the family.
They were very poor when they were first married but they said they really didn’t notice because all their friends were in the same boat. Mom said she was not used to having a lot, so it wasn’t anything different for her.
Mom and Dad spent a lot of time with their children, their friends, and their extended family. Some lessons and fond memories are as follows:
· Dad was a 4th of July baby and he was very patriotic. Dad wanted to be in the military, but his brother was already in the military and they needed farm boys to stay on the farms. He was always so proud of our brother Roland for serving in the Marine Corp.
· They set an example of being very caring. They took care of 3 of their parents in their aging years and also Uncle Derald. We hope we did as well as they did?
· Both of them valued their friends who they referred to as the Gang and enjoyed countless card games, camping trips, traveling, dinner parties, snowmobiling, etc. etc.
· They had the first TV of the Gang. Everyone would gather at Mom and Dads to hopefully catch a show, as they came on sporadically; or they would just play cards.
· Dad teaching us to laugh our way through life with his jokes and not take life too seriously.
· Mom’s famous chocolate cake
· Mom was quiet but had a fun nature. She was someone that when she did speak up you would want to listen to.
· Dad Understood a “Bad Hair Day” and let us sluff school on occasion
· Both of them were wonderful Grandparents; they taught the grandkids lessons that their parents couldn’t
· They let us kids make our own choices and learn from the consequences whether it be good or bad.
· Mom showed us by example that you don’t have to wear makeup to be beautiful. BUT you do need RED LIPSTICK.
· They valued the land and taught us to take care of it.
· They taught us service; one small example of this was Dad donated his time to do the rock work on the monument just outside this building.
· Mom taught us to make our bed every day. There is a New York Times Best Seller on this very topic….Just think…she could have made millions
· They always had snacks and candy on hand for everyone who visited them.
· Dad taught us how to do math by playing cards with us.
· They Treated all their kids and all their grandkids equally.
· They were great neighbors – JC and Janice said they have never had a cross word with Mom and Dad in the 39 years they have been neighbors! That says a lot about Janice and JC being the best neighbors ever!
· They taught us by example how to live with integrity.
Dad was changing diapers before it was ever popular for Dads to change diapers. He rocked us kids, danced with us, took us everywhere with him and spent quality time with us. Mom was a minimalist way before the term came about; she was frugal but generous, and followed the pioneer creed of use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. Mom was super patient with us and was very trusting and supportive.We know they both went without so that we could have and do things. They sacrificed and worked hard so we could have a good life.
The grandchildren all have wonderful memories of Mom and Dad. We ask them for some one liners and want to share their thoughts with you. We think it sums up pretty well the love Mom and Dad have for their posterity.
· James – I remember getting firewood with Grandpa as a kid using his silver pickup and stock rack. Once we finished loading, we would eat lunch which included Grandma’s canned raspberries.
· Mandi – I remember Grandma and Grandpa always coming over for cake and ice cream on our birthdays. Playing in the little camper they used to have.
· Randy – Grandma and Grandpa driving over on Sundays and Grandpas teasing and good-natured laugh, and the way Grandma would smile and nod while listening to our stories, both so loving. How loving and accepting they were when I brought home a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend.
· Jeremy – Picking rocks on the farm with Grandpa. One-time Grandpa told me he wasn’t going to take me fishing anymore because I couldn’t catch anything! Grandpa showing me the safe in the garage floor. Grandpa helping me with math. Very proud of Grandpa’s truck he re-did. Grandma always having Goldfish for us to eat!
· Kari – I loved the water fights on July 4th, Grandpa’s birthday and playing Grandpa’s famous Washer Game. I also went to a couple of performances with them at the college. I loved their Christmas gifts, too!
· Rayce–Grandpa took me to the coffee shop. He would tell the guys that he had picked up a hitchhiker. Grandma doing puzzles with me. Climbing on the Rock Wall behind the stove.
· Hanna – When they would take me camping every summer at Tear Drop Lake. Grandpa would always take me fishing and teach me everything he knew. Grandma calling Antonio a “Dirty Pot Licker” during games! Grandma’s face when we got off Space Mountain, “Whew! That was a wild one”. Or, Grandma crawling under the turn style thing in the New York subway.
· Stacy – I’ve got so many fond memories of my grandparents. Going fishing with them at Neal’s pond Is probably one of my favorites. We would catch and clean the fish and Grandma would cook them up, so delicious! What I will treasure the most is the way they lived their lives. I never heard them speak an ill word about anyone. They weren’t judge-mental. They were accepting of people for who they were and were awesome grandparents!
· Melissa – For Christmas Grandma and Grandpa would always get me a sweater. I would always look forward to getting a new sweater. I remember one year I got this one pink sweater with dogs on it and I loved it. I wore it in a fashion show in junior high!......I loved picking raspberries; they always had yummy raspberries.
· Scott – When we were little, we were riding horses with family in Idaho. I got stuck on a horse named Wilbur. Wilbur was so bouncy that most of the skin on my rear-end rubbed off. I remember Grandpa putting salve on my bottom and telling me he was going to cure my BABOON BUTT! His jokes were even better than that sweet soothing salve.
-It was either the 750th or 751st time that Antonio and I had fought for no reason. Strangely, most of the family decided that I was at fault this time. Grandma found me crying in the backyard and took me and fed me some of their delicious rhubarb plants. She joked that Antonio and I didn’t need to fight over her, she was both of our Grandma and she loved us like we should love each other. She always knew how to warm your heart!
· Brian – One of the great things about Grandpa was his fun, easy going attitude; especially with us grand kids. Grandpa would take us fishing to Neal’s Pond. Stocked full of trout, you’d have to be a pretty bad fisherman to go home empty handed. Well the first time we went I proved to be a terrible fisherman. Everyone else was pulling fish out left and right. Not wanting me to leave empty-handed, Grandpa helped me hook the worm, cast the reel, and like magic pull a fish out of the pond. He did 99.9% of the work gave me 100% of the credit. Then, as an added bonus he showed us how to make the fish talk and sing before we cleaned them. Which is a skill I’m happy to say I’ve kept to this day.
-Grandma was one of the most kind and gentle people that God has ever put on this earth. She didn’t have a mean bone in her body or a harsh word for anyone. One day when Scott, Stacy and I were horsing around, I accidentally broke one of Grandma’s trinkets. I took the pieces to Grandma and after confessing to the misdeed and apologizing for it I lowered my head expecting some form of punishment. Instead what I received was a swift forgiveness and a warm hug with a soft request to be careful when playing in the house. Grandma was quick to show love and kindness to everyone. I believe the world was a better place because of Grandma.
· Jenny – I remember going fishing with grandpa and playing dominos with Grandma and Grandpa, and picking raspberries.
· Wyatt – Grandma and her vitamin case at Disneyland. **I’m going to elaborate on this memory *** Tawna, Wyatt, Hanna, Antonio, Grandma, and I went to Disneyland. Mom had a mustard yellow little hard-sided suitcase that she packed all her vitamins and medicine in. Wyatt and Antonio were strapping teenagers at the time and they had to carry the case all around Southern California. It kind of hurt their teenage pride, but then it became a big joke. By about day 3 on the vacation we were all getting tired except Grandma was just as spry as ever and would tell us to take a vitamin and we would survive. ***Grandpa teaching me how to fish. Grandma at Uncle Derald’s funeral telling me “it sure is boring”!
· Rebecca – I remember Grandpa giving candy bars to our kids, (so his great grandkids) when we would come for a visit. Grandpa loved hearing me and Kari play our “fiddle” songs. I loved Grandma’s raspberry/huckleberry jam, Yummy. Grandma always wrote back letters to me with her pretty cursive handwriting. They were always together and happy.
· Antonio – On the macro level, Grandpa’s inappropriate jokes. Never said the same one twice, or his ruthlessness in beating us all relentlessly in Uno! Grandmas blueberry muffins or her reading that book about a dog and his bone. I remember her using voices for it, “Gimmie my bone, my bone, my bone!" And Grandma and the Disneyland story of the “just give it a vitamin it’ll survive", and that mustard yellow vitamin case we had to carry around!
We asked Mom and Dad at their 50th wedding anniversary what advice they had for us about having a happy marriage. They said, “Give and take, have humor and work together. Mom said "married life gets easier the longer you are married. You develop maturity and the financial stability helps too!"
Two years ago, Dad was told he had 2 weeks to 2 months to live. Mom was also suffering with dementia. Dad’s will to live was fierce; he had a commitment to love and take care of Mom, that through the tender mercies of their Father in Heaven, he fulfilled until she passed away and then he was able to follow a few moments later. Their's was a true love story.
Then my wonderful dad spoke and gave a beautiful message about our hearts and measurements of life. Here's a few quotes from his talk.
"As Mother Teresa says: “It’s not how much we do, but how much love we put into the doing. It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into the giving.”
"When you’re working on getting your heart right and feeling the Spirit, you, my friend, are a great success."
"My Mother and Father have good hearts, kind hearts, loving hearts, fun hearts, nonjudgemental hearts, hearts of integrity and honesty. Their actions toward each other and other people showed those kinds of hearts and set an example that I am still trying to emulate. How I hope to someday have a heart that is more like my Mother and Father’s!"
After the closing prayer, I stood with my sisters and we went outside the chapel doors. We lined up and waited to be the pallbearers for Grandma. (I'm wearing the pink sweater and black dress.)
Grandpa came first. My brother (first one on the left) and boy cousins carried grandpa to the hearse.
Then us girls carried Grandma.
Then we followed the hearses up the road to the Wilford Cemetery. We again carried Grandma to the vault that would lower her into her final resting spot next to grandpa.
I thought it was neat that my dad's parents gravesite is nearby my mom's parents (my mom's dad -my grandpa passed away, my grandma is still living). Also, interesting-my great grandmother Daisy on my mom's side (I'm named after her) is near my great grandparents on my dad's side! These two families were meant to be together and my mom and dad joined the two families together when they got married. :)
My Uncle Rick Robles gave two dedicatory prayers. He blessed my grandparents, the land and all of our family.
Us girls took this picture with our pink flowers. Then we gently placed our flowers on grandma's coffin-saying good bye one more time.
We drove back to the Wilford church and ate a lovely luncheon. Yes, it did include funeral potatoes, ham and lots of jello salads to choose from. :) Cake and ice cream was for dessert. Oh, on a table before the chapel for the funeral service were bowls of candy- Milky Ways and Hershey Kisses. Because our grandparents always had a candy bowl at their house. The grandkids enjoyed the candy!
I enjoyed this table of photographs and memorabilia. See my grandpa's boxing gloves?
Here's a cute pic of my grandparents.
This family photo was from a long time ago. Jenny wasn't even born yet. I was probably five. I'm on the bottom row in red next to Kari in purple.
This picture has a glare from the photo album but it just made me smile. Kari is on the left and I'm on the right. I remember those cute bags we took to school. I remember we loved to match too.
After the luncheon we went back to my grandparents home and we took some pictures with Grandpa's restored green pickup truck. I took a few other pics...Mason and Sadie (Kari's kids) with the tractor.
These beautiful flowers.
Here's the pick up!
My sister Mandi did an amazing job taking pics and editing them and sending them to us. I love this one of my mom and dad in the truck.
Me and Jenny girl.
Just me.
The boys pushing the pick up into position...
Just a quick flashback. Seeing this pick up reminded me of a visit to the grandparents when Isak and Kira were about 18 months old. Here's some pics...
Kira with her great grandpa July of 2013.
Isak with his great grandma.
Grandpa loved to show us his pick up. And look how pristine their garage is. They definitely did a great job of taking care of their home and possessions.
Nels loves cars. So he loved when grandpa showed him the features. A look under the hood...
And inside features.
Four generations of boys.
Four generations of girls.
Thankfully, we got to take our three month old babies to meet their great grandparents before we moved to California. Our kids haven't been back to Idaho since then. I've been able to go for two short visits by myself, but the kids have not been to Idaho since August 2016. So here's the photo of our family with grandma and grandpa. The last one I have.
I'm so thankful for pictures and journals and stories that are passed down so we can remember our past.
So back to Thursday, August 8, 2018. After the photo session, families parted ways and went back home. I ate some dinner with Melissa's family, Jenny and my parents ate at our favorite Chinese restaurant Fong's.
My parents, Jenny and I then drove back up to the Wilford cemetery. We checked on our grandparents. They had been buried. The sun was just beginning to set. It was a peaceful moment and a good way to end the day.
I took this pic of my parents amazing garden. They do such a good job!
I flew home on August 10 - Friday. My dad made us yummy pancakes before we left. Jenny and I enjoyed another great drive to the airport. Then I made it back home to my little family, sweet husband and Nels's parents.
I'm so grateful I was able to go...here's a pic of me on the airplane...the kids were missing me and Nels asked me to send them a pic...so here it is.
Nels sent me this pic of the kids enjoying Wendy's for lunch. Such a fun dad.
To wrap this post up...here's a photo of my mom and dad with all of their kids and almost all of their grandkids.
And here's what happened when two wonderful people like my grandma and grandpa fall in love and create this beautiful family. It grew from two people to all of these people...just amazing. They had four kids. So this picture is with my family and aunts and uncles and cousins.
Dear Grandma Leah and Grandpa LaMar,
Look at all of the good you brought into the world. Look at the legacy you leave behind. Thank you for living, loving and laughing. You lived a beautiful life.
Love,
Rebecca
